Sadness

I guess I haven't done so well with this blog! Started it in January and here it is a full 7 months later and I'm finally posting!

It's been a bittersweet time since my first posting. I mentioned Lefty, the love of my life (other than Dave!) and how he was beginning his final journey.

This is my first summer in Florida. Normally I would return to Vermont with Dave from May - October. However after much discussion, it made more sense for me to stay down in Florida for the summer. For one thing, we didn't think that Lefty would be able to make the trip comfortably. In addition, our house in Vermont would present some problems because there are just too many stairs. Also, my embroidery business has done exceptionally well down here and that was another reason for me to stay. So Dave headed north at the end of April and Lefty and I settled in for our first Florida summer.

In the middle of May, something was definitely wrong with the little guy. I rushed him to the Vet and turns out he was in acute renal failure. The Vet was amazing and pulled him through but what a ride! Daily fluid injections for a week and then he had to go on four different medications daily. The Vet cautioned that although he responded quite well, he would have future episodes and that each one would be worse. I hadn't been quite prepared for "the end" so this reprieve gave me some time to think about it and get myself ready. Dave and I discussed it and decided that if Lefty had another episode, that would be decision making time.

Things were going along pretty well, although the chronic renal failure part of things meant that I had to stay pretty close to home. I really couldn't leave Lefty for more than 5 hours or so - he needed to be able to go outside frequently to take care of business. Any longer than that and he really had no control of things. So, my first summer in Florida, which I had so looked forward to with lots of golf and fun outdoor stuff, turned into something totally different. I had to cancel my plans to work the Women's Open Championship and the Women's Amateur. I just couldn't be away from home that long - I didn't have the heart to kennel Lefty in that condition for that length of time and it wouldn't be fair to ask someone to come to the house to take care of him. I managed to be able to play 9 holes of golf twice a week, but playing 18 was a stretch - I could only do it if I played a course close to home and then returned home immediately after leaving the golf course.

One bonus of this reprieve was that Dave got to spend some time with Lefty in July. When Dave had returned to Vermont in April, he was pretty sure he was leaving Lefty for good and had said his goodbyes then. He came down from Vermont for a long weekend over 4th of July, so it was a bonus to see his little buddy again.

After Dave left, things were still good but the little signs were there - Lefty's eyesight was getting worse, he was having more difficulty walking, he started sleeping more and was less interested in what was going on around him. I wasn't getting much sleep, because as I mentioned earlier, Lefty had to go outside more frequently, so I would stay up pretty late to take Lefty out right before going to bed and then get up 5 or 6 hours later to take him out in the morning.

Then came the first week of August. I knew the time was getting close to make a decision, and so I worked hard on trying to prepare myself mentally for it. Hah! Every time that I thought "this could be it", Lefty surprised me with a burst of energy or some little signal that said, "Hey, I'm not ready yet!" On Saturday night, August 7th - I took Lefty out before going to bed and in our back yard was a bunny. This bunny has been around for awhile and I think it knew that both Lefty and I were harmless. Lefty wandered somewhat aimlessly in the yard and got to within 3 feet of the bunny. He didn't see it. At this point the bunny hopped about 5 feet away. Lefty "saw" the motion and attempted to chase the bunny. He took 2 or 3 steps and stopped. The bunny hopped another 2 or 3 feet and stopped. Lefty "chased" it again - 2 or 3 steps and stopped. This continued a couple more times and it was absolutely priceless! And I thought it was an encouraging sign!

I spoke with Dave on the phone the next day, Sunday, and told him the story about the bunny but that I also thought that Lefty maybe only had a week, maybe 2 left. They tell you that your pets will let you know when the time has come and they are ready to go to the Rainbow Bridge. The hardest part of this whole ordeal has been agonizing over when to make "the decision" - are you waiting too long, are you jumping the gun - it's brutal. But it is absolutely true - your pet knows when the time has come and he will let you know that he is ready!! On Monday morning, two days after the bunny episode, I just knew it was time. Lefty had slept the entire night in the exact same postition - he never moved all night. When he got up, he had a lot of difficulty walking - staggering, bumping into things. When he came inside from taking care of business, he just laid down and crashed over onto his side. Up until this point, he mostly laid down on his stomach. He would lay on his side for awhile, attempt to get up, take a step or two and crash right back down on his side. The 3rd time it happened he just looked at me and his look was totally different than any other time in his life - his eyes were pleading "Mommy make it go away." I called Dave, we talked, the decision was made. I called the Vet, she told me I could bring him in any time - they would be waiting for us. I knew that I couldn't handle thinking about what was to happen for any length of time. I spent 15 minutes holding Lefty in my arms and then we headed to the Vet's. From the time I made the phone call, to the time it was all over - it was no more than an hour. I was with Lefty and held his head in my hands. It is a very hard, gut wrenching thing to do, but at the same time, it is comforting to be there when your best friend draws his last breath. The process is amazingly quick and peaceful. Lefty was so good and went so quietly - no discomfort, no twitches, he just went to sleep.

He is now at the Rainbow Bridge - running and playing, catching endless Frisbees and waiting for some day in the future when Dave and I come to visit and cross over the Bridge with him once again at our side.


RIP Lefty
August 9, 2010

Baby steps

Well, I have taken another step forward in cyberland. My first blog. My first post. This is all very new to me and I haven't really figured out what I will be doing or talking about in my new blog!

I have a home embroidery business (http://www.pfantasyoriginals.com) that I absolutely love and my intial thought was to use this blog to promote my business, to discuss the industry, to share my favorite embroidery sites and perhaps even to share some designs that I have digitized myself. January and February are traditionally slow months in the embroidery world, so I have some time right now to play around with this.

My other passion in life is golf and the Rules of Golf. I serve on the USGA Women's Public Links Championship Committee and I have had the privilege of officiating at the last two US Women's Open Championships. I suspect that there might be occasional ramblings about golf Rules every now and then.

The other love of my life (besides my husband, of course!) is our dog, Lefty. He's called Lefty because my husband (Dave) found him abandoned on the side of the road back in November of 1995 - the day before Thanksgiving, actually. Someone just left him there. He was about 7 months old at the time. So we have watched him grow from a puppy to an old sage. He will be 15 years old sometime around March or April of this year and it has been hard to watch as he grows old and suffers all the aches, pains and traumas that go along with aging. He has been a great dog and a great companion and has been a wonderful addition to our family. He's starting to lose his sight and his hearing and every now and then he stops in his tracks and looks around as if to wonder what it was he was supposed to be doing. But, heck, I do that all the time! So maybe parts of this blog will be a chronicle of his final journey.

Thanks for stopping by! Stay tuned for more ....